Sunny California
Will forever keep a fear of mine .
In front of me
Mentally alive, physically gone
And sunny California
The city of Burlingame to be exact
Doesn’t appear to feel so sunny anymore.
Gunshots in the distance
Us poets use as broken metaphors
To make the typical reader feel
Intrigued ,
fascinated,
and shocked as a wealthy civilian.
The type who lives in a neighborhood with playful children.
Yet once those bullets shoot at us,
at the ones we love,
those metaphors don't tend to have the same meaning.
Waiting, excited to see you again!
Except this time
a woman with an eerie warm face will tell me that they’re done preparing you
and I’ll run up to your new home
And find you smirking above
and notice your stiff cold hands below
as I believe with all my heart and mind that you still remain alive
but you just aren’t anymore.
it’s a cheerful loud smile that gets slapped off my face
and I break into a scene of a screeching lost child trying to search amidst a dark cold room
tossing and shaking
as my typical teenage life slams my heavy body
and I scream.
the regret of crying for all the wrong reasons
while wasting time when I could have been talking
to
you.
and I yell,
“Where has my brother gone?:”
“come back, come back…”
“no this cant be true”
And many say that they’re sorry for my loss
But is it so that what is lost can be found?
Because if that is true then the only place I can ever find you now
Is in a cemetery
800 miles away
And I can’t drive
Or Afford a plane ticket
Or speak anymore
Without questioning if what I’m speaking is even real or false emotions to manipulate others in feeling sorry for me
Because I was only a confused teenage girl when my brother
My big brother
The one who was supposed to protect me with a bigger and vicious bark than the ones my age who wished to hurt me
My big brother
The one who would spoiled his baby sister and made her feel like a princess
My big brother
Who was supposed to give me his insight that I found to be ignorant at times
As I disagreed with every word he spoke
Except for the words “I love you”
As I returned them and hoped that he’d visit me soon.
But now,
He is
Or was
The same big brother that didn’t get the chance
As he lie there
Presumably with blood seeping
As I wished to stop all time
So he could say his final goodbye
To his little sister
That will forever be left wondering…
“why?”.
by:jupiter
reactions/commentary/feedback appreciated
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Ex Player Relations, Ex Newspaper Team
Originally Posted by ItzTerry!
