hello,
If you haven't noticed, most of what I've written is sad lol. I'm going to use era-go as a way to express my emotions about my brother and how it has impacted me because irl I can't really show that as much (my dad doesn't want me crying about it because my brothers "soul " wont be at rest, so im forced to hold it all in or cry in my room).
sorry I am not that good with grammar.
anyways, I was at a meeting when I found out that he had died and after 15ish mins of going ballistic , I knew I had to write my reaction down.
I have only shown one person this irl, so the rest I leave to you.
xoxo-
About 15 minutes ago, I lost my brother.
Lost? Where did he go? You may ask.
The sad thing is, no one will ever find him.
Was it bloody? Was it a stab wound?
Was it a gun shot? Was it suicide?
I don’t know , really.
He promised to take me to the bay again, just him and I and his daughter.
Or just him and me.
Remember pops? The guy we scammed to sell you a wallet for a bit of money. You tried to teach me how to hustle .
Or the time we went on the ferris wheel together. You told me not to lose that photo, I hope I find it.
No. you cant be gone. No. you had a f#cking daughter. I had all those envelopes I wanted to show you.
I know it couldn’t have been suicide, youre the one who asked me why the f#ck I had depression .
So you mustve been murdered.
Im pissed off at the ****er who stole my phone. I had pictures of us on there, recent ones.
Im shaking. My legs are shaking. I want to kill myself. I wish I would have called you. I want to die I want to die. Im sorry. Im really sorry.
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