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Thread: @FutureAndCurrentParents

  1. #1
    "Bdeesh" AliGamer911's Avatar
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    @FutureAndCurrentParents

    This thread isn't exactly a happy thread, but I wish that you'd read it all and learn something.
     Spoiler
    So, we all know those parents, right?
    They come to America from the Middle East or Asia and say that America is the land of opportunity, and chances, and more crap that some random dude on the Internet told them. And, that may not be a lie, that isn't exactly the truth.

    But that's not what I want to talk about. No, it's about parents. The type that I have and the type that said to me, "Become a doctor or else I'll disown you!" so loud that people in other cars started to look directly us to see what the bloody hell was going on.
    I'll provide some back story:

    Both of my parents were born in Jordan, a country that isn't economically healthy and has its fair share of problems, so, my dad immigrated from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan to the United States of America around the early 1990s, and he's been living in the good ol' empire ever since, met my mom, and wa-la! Kiddies!

    Which is pretty nice, isn't it? But that's where the problem begins. For some reason, my parents decided that every single last one of us would be a doctor. Period. No matter if we were good at something else or if we found something better to do, they wanted us to be doctors so they could gloat. Literally, they indirectly and directly said it to me. Which us messed up, considering that you want your child to work hard, have sleeplessness nights, and loose a social life, just so you could sit around, sleep, and show off.

    Here's an example that has been engraved into my mind that happened last year to show their mindset:

    It was the end of the first semester and grades had come in. Every mark on the report card was an A, which is pretty good in my opinion, but Spanish was an EXACT 89.2%. Now, me, not speaking Spanish and my teacher being horrible, it's good that I got a percentage that was almost an A, right? Not with my mom. She got angry that I got a B instead of an A and said how I was supposed to get a degree if I got a B, ignoring that everything else was an A and that you need a C of at least 70% to pass a class here, in America. I didn't say anything, but I'd to point out that she's in been in America for a while now and her English sucks to the point where I don't understand her and ask her to repeat what she said in Arabic. Language isn't easy.

    Now since that's out of the way, I'd like to share a story that I don't want anyone to repeat with their kids. It's simple BTW:

    We were at the story and saw an ad for an optometrist. I honestly don't want to be one as becoming one is tiresome and the staying one is very competitive. So, I just said "nah".

    That was, apparently, the wrong answer.

    As soon as I stepped in car, my mom started to scream at me how her sister got FOUR of her sons to be doctor, but she couldn't handle one. She said it as if I was an annoying bug that wouldn't go away. My dad supported her in this. I said that different people are good at different things, and that my cousins would only be competition. She didn't like that and whirled around, in her chair, to look at me and yelled at the top of her lungs...

    "IF YOU DON'T BECOME A DOCTOR, I WON'T LOOK AT YOU, I WON'T SPEAK TO YOU, AND I WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOU!"

    That's disownment.

    My parents should have sat down with me and figured out what I'm good and what I'm not. Find out my strengths and weaknesses. I've tried to talk to them to do just that, but every conversation ends with, "Just be a doctor." I can't even talk to them about it without them going crazy.

    This isn't a petty thread. I'm not asking for your support or comfort.

    All I'm asking is that you never do this with your child. Help him, not stand against him, to find a job that he'll be good at and be happy with.

    I know that this isn't my usual thread, as I'm usually the dumb, fun, joking one, but I wanted to write this.

    The American Memes thread will resume shortly, BTW #Murica

    TLDR: Don't threaten disown your child because he said that the job you want him to be may not be right for him.

    - - - Updated - - -

    (Ik its kinda weird that I'm posting this on era go, but I can't make a reddit acc without alerting 15 phones so I placed it here)
    Last edited by AliGamer911; 02-05-2019 at 04:44 AM. Reason: Small wording errors
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  2. #2
    Senior Player Relations Police Commissioner
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    Wholeheartedly agree with you. It is not a parent's place to force their kid into something just so that they can have bragging rights later on in life. As a parent, you should nurture and raise your kid, not force them along whatever path YOU want. You can give them suggestions, sure, but you do not get to rule their lives for them, that's for them to do by themselves.

  3. #3
    "Bdeesh" AliGamer911's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by failure View Post
    Wholeheartedly agree with you. It is not a parent's place to force their kid into something just so that they can have bragging rights later on in life. As a parent, you should nurture and raise your kid, not force them along whatever path YOU want. You can give them suggestions, sure, but you do not get to rule their lives for them, that's for them to do by themselves.
    ^^^

    Nothing wrong with suggesting, but forcing a decision upon him that'll impact the rest of his life is kinda messed up.
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    Interviewed random Americans in Era about their viewpoint on the United States.
    I love America. 16
    I hate America. (traitors) 2
    To be honest, I really don't know. 1

  4. #4
    Usually these kind of parents are really stubborn, because after deciding what you want to become, your parents have already decided it for you and it’s already set in stone, and there’s no way of changing their mind. Even now I think why parents want their children to become a doctor. Is it for money? To brag about? To make people think you’ve raised your children well? It’s just for selfish reasons. It ruins your relationship with your children. Its not worth living if someone is doing it for you.

  5. #5
    Big Cheese
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    This has happened to a few people I know. Makes me very sad tbh.
    Feel free to message me if you seek assistance!

  6. #6
    that actually hurt ngl personally i chose to pursue becoming a doctor myself cause of passion and love for helping people and saving lives and if it was an idea that was forced upon myself i wouldnt have as much passion. i do hope you find passion and love for something thats for you and i hope no matter what happens your parents do not limit you from it once it does appear, i wish you luck ali i hope we can still have subtle connections decades from now

  7. #7
    Street Boss Jayden-Jair's Avatar
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    I can relate to you except I never got to the dynamic that you have experienced. I was told myself that the only way to succeed in life is to go to school, get a successful -well paying- job, get materialistic things such as a house, a car, anemeties and have a family. Then leave the world. Now, I must ask if that is attractive to anyone. No where was it mentioned to have a social life, mistakes, or anything less than perfection. This is an American culture, having the lifestyle of wealth based success over happiness. For my life story, I’ll post a separate thread if anyone were to to request it but the main thing I want to exclaim is that I couldn’t live life where I’m always stressed and bored out of my mind. I’ve made several attempts on my life but each one failed because either I didn’t take enough of a medication or the wound wasn’t fatal to which they could revive me from. This lead to my parents to change their perspective on how they should approach parenting. It took them years before they could come to understand that I am different. Through it, there were many arguments, loneliness from the restrictions of how I can interact with people. I believe if one is truly passionate about change, they can achieve it. Parents can change. It’s not impossible, but it’s really difficult to convince them without realizing the effects of what they have done. Because again in parental guidance (and in many aspects of life) if something worked before, it should work again.

    To keep this from turning into a narrative to which regular readers of the forums do not necessarily like reading, I’d like to say that the result of what I have become is messy. But I am alive and striving to become who I want to be. Although I have developed a couple of mental disorders, I believe I still have room to be who I want to be rather than what the past is trying to define me as.

    If you made it this far, I appreciate taking the time to read this.

    I love deeper level conversations.

  8. #8
    "Bdeesh" AliGamer911's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jayden-Jair View Post
    I can relate to you except I never got to the dynamic that you have experienced. I was told myself that the only way to succeed in life is to go to school, get a successful -well paying- job, get materialistic things such as a house, a car, anemeties and have a family. Then leave the world. Now, I must ask if that is attractive to anyone. No where was it mentioned to have a social life, mistakes, or anything less than perfection. This is an American culture, having the lifestyle of wealth based success over happiness. For my life story, I’ll post a separate thread if anyone were to to request it but the main thing I want to exclaim is that I couldn’t live life where I’m always stressed and bored out of my mind. I’ve made several attempts on my life but each one failed because either I didn’t take enough of a medication or the wound wasn’t fatal to which they could revive me from. This lead to my parents to change their perspective on how they should approach parenting. It took them years before they could come to understand that I am different. Through it, there were many arguments, loneliness from the restrictions of how I can interact with people. I believe if one is truly passionate about change, they can achieve it. Parents can change. It’s not impossible, but it’s really difficult to convince them without realizing the effects of what they have done. Because again in parental guidance (and in many aspects of life) if something worked before, it should work again.

    To keep this from turning into a narrative to which regular readers of the forums do not necessarily like reading, I’d like to say that the result of what I have become is messy. But I am alive and striving to become who I want to be. Although I have developed a couple of mental disorders, I believe I still have room to be who I want to be rather than what the past is trying to define me as.

    If you made it this far, I appreciate taking the time to read this.

    I love deeper level conversations.
    Since your offered say your story, I think that it'll help the the thread out very well as the whole propose of the thread -or at least what I'm trying to do- is to shine a light on how messed up this is.

    My parents want me to become a doctor because they want status. It would be nice to hear the money-side of forcy parents.
    Do you love the Union?
    Interviewed random Americans in Era about their viewpoint on the United States.
    I love America. 16
    I hate America. (traitors) 2
    To be honest, I really don't know. 1

  9. #9
    There's no community here XSTARX's Avatar
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    Have you never tried going against their will and doing the things you want? Normally their decisions would often soften up to yours as time goes.
    My nonchalant attitude is vivid.
    You can call me a critic because I couldn't care less.
    Era-Go still has my respect, excluding the game alone.

    I don't intend to work for a game filled with petulant staff abusing their authorities.


    The community sure is sendentary.

  10. #10
    Street Boss Jayden-Jair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by XSTARX View Post
    Have you never tried going against their will and doing the things you want? Normally their decisions would often soften up to yours as time goes.
    That’s what happened with me. It’s just a really hard moral to break having to go against a parents wish in many cultures throughout the world.

    Nothing is really “normal” in parenting. Especially when it comes to independent thought they do not agree with. Well, not in the idea of subjectivity anyways.

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