Ok, this has to be resolved.

[Tricky]

Wait that's a job?

Time to get on Craigslist.
-Update-
Omfg

Man, someone's on some serious drugs.

Gee you wonder why he threatened you?

This may sounds weird, but friends tend to insult each other to show a loving bond to one another. Lol, it's a thing if you don't believe me google it. :> I do it sometimes.