Originally Posted by
imaginary
Her letter
Why now?
It has been YEARS since I left and just as recently this week I saw my name pop up in a chat with the normal incorrect comments posted by players and incorrect supported by staff...Snk didn't say a lot about the situation and he and I never fully resolved our issues, by my own choice, but I think he said just enough for people to draw some conclusions which they spout off to others as if it was the truth, I have yet to see one accurate version. Yes it is long but if you have ever breathed a word of my name in friendship or gossip - you should take the time to ensure you know the actual truth.
The backstory:
Years pass and rumors linger....I guess it is my fault because instead of facing it head on, I decided to walk away and not let it consume my life. Since I am on Era & Classic periodically I still hear from other players about what they have "heard". I literally have heard it all - I am 15 (I guess perpetually stuck in time) all the way to an 80 year old grandmother (not even remotely the case). Have you ever heard of that game where you whisper a statement to someone and they repeat it to everyone in the circle - by the time it gets passed on person to person until the last person who then recites it aloud, it is nothing like the first statement. Everyone has heard what they wanted to and passed on their own version - that is exactly what happened with my story. I can't even remember exact years anymore but I started playing Era in late 2011. Was super bored one day and looking through game apps and decided to try it. I am not a gamer, I was not familiar with terms like MMO or Role play. But, like most everyone, I got sucked in and began dealing with a sort of "graal addiction". When I joined, I quickly realized that I wasn't in the mass demographic of mid-teens; however, there were many adults that I came to know as well as teens and developed friendships with. In an effort to fit in, I began a story of being a 14 year old named Jeni. All totally fictional and made up. I had no intention of letting anyone online into my personal irl life - ever. Nor did I have any intention of developing any relationships with people, outside of innocent friendships to chat socially when I was on. One of the first mistakes I made was getting cute customs - that along with my outgoing personality drew people - especially guys - to me like magnets. I got a lot of pressure to show irl pics. As I mentioned, I never had any intention of letting anyone from Graal into my irl life. With that said, the pressure was intense and as a person who always is trying to make people happy, a "people pleaser", saying no was never my strong point. So I found a pic of a girl in my hometown and used her pic - back then pics posted in-game were super public in gang pictures. Well, that pic spread like wildfire. I had NO idea just how crazy it would get. Along came the introduction of Kik into my life and a steady flow of messages daily that I could barely keep up with. Again, being a "people pleaser" I felt this obligation to respond to everyone - that is why I was such a popular staff member. I genuinely cared about people, responded to them, and would take the time to listen and cheer them up with life's issues.
- - - Updated - - -
XOXO, my game relationships and becoming staff:
Somewhere in my first year playing I became friends with many staff members including Street, Flamecrow, Layerd, Chaotic, and Loki. I apologize in advance for inadvertently getting dates confused or missing names - this was a long time ago and soooo much has transpired. I started my gang XOXO and it immediately was full and became very popular - it was a great group of people, but also it had alot to do with the "hot" leader, with the sweet, outgoing personality, jeni. I didn't realize just how much this persona was growing. I thought it was relatively harmless and had observed many people I met on the game using fake pics, lying about their ages, and identifies. Honestly, I thought well it's just a game, as long as nobody takes it too seriously and it stays in game it should be fine. Well, things quickly began to flow out of the game into Kik and real feelings began to get involved....I learned about game marriages and dating in game. Again, not thinking too much of it as it was innocent and only in game. I think Chaotic was one of the first people I "dated". He was staff at the time, and gave me a very indepth story of his college life as he was 20. I was a bit concerned with our relationship even in game as I was "15" at the time but he didn't care and said it was fine so I went with it. We dated a few months in-game, kik messaged, and even exchanged phone numbers to which we only text on occasion - no calls. There were zero inappropriate pictures exchanged on either end. And for the record - NEVER EVER did I send ANYONE inappropriate pictures of myself or anyone else. After a couple months that broke off and I met a player named Woody. He and I married in game, "dated" a bit - talking outside of game in kik and Facebook messages. Enter Layerd, who I had developed a slow friendship with in-game as he was already involved in an in-game relationship. I ended up breaking it off with Woody and he with his in-game girlfriend and we established our own relationship that lasted a couple of years. That is pretty amazing when you realize we never skyped or talked live mainly because of the language barrier - me being American and he German. Our relationship consisted of in-game, kik, and Facebook messages. I am still amazed to this day how I felt real feelings for people I never met in real life. I guess when you share your lives through daily conversation, support each other through life's trials and tribulations, share very personal information...it just happens and it did. I know what love is and I will tell you I felt a deep genuine love for the people I was in a relationship with. The kind that keeps them in your heart forever and you miss them from time to time and you hope for the best for them throughout life. I still have the upmost respect for Layerd, feel horrible for misleading him, and am grateful that we can still interact from time to time and smile about old memories. Same for Woody, same for Chaotic....except I later found out in the most recent years that Chaotic lied to me about his age, he was only 15 at the time we first married in-game. Boy he had some elaborate stories about college life, I never once doubted him....Loki - I learned alot about him after tons of conversation and finding myself in a relationship with him. He was mid-twenties and had a reputation for dating younger girls in-game. In-game I wouldn't really care but I know how he was outside of game as we clocked a zillion hours and all nighters on skype. Again, I never sent inappropriate pictures to anyone nor even went on video with anyone. It wasn't always the same the other way around. When you are popular in Graal, people ineveitably suggest you become staff. I resisted that for a long time as I never really played and didn't have any interest on devoting more hours of my life to the game. Eventually, with alot of staff friend support and the introduction to Snk, I was hired as a PR I think sometime in 2012. I never "played" the game, if anything I was more of an item collector eventually spending thousands of dollars on gralat packs to purchase all the cool stuff - which I never used lol. After a few months as PR, Snk approached me about the Communications Admin role he was implementing and with that I took on the Forums and became a member of the management staff for about 2 years. Eventually after being on and off for awhile, Layerd and I called it quits when he started dating someone irl and at some point I developed a relationship with Nyx. Nyx and I dated in-game and communicated in skype calls and kik. Again, no inappropriate pictures or video were ever exchanged on either side. Around Feb/March of 2014 things started to get bad with Nyx and we fought alot. For a game that I never intended on letting into my personal life - I found myself very upset frequently and it was starting to affect my mood irl. I took a leave from staff for a couple of months, in the meantime grooming Ace to replace me - who I had hired initially as a Moderator and his contributions were quickly acknowledged and he was made a PR. In April of 2014, stuff started getting crazy with rumors of my personal life and I finally had enough and left, I recommended Ace to snk as my replacement and he was selected. Shortly after that the rumors went rampant, the girl's picture I had used was notified and her mother contacted snk.
- - - Updated - - -
I can’t post more
thanks!
