That high pitch noise really hurts my ears.

Let's start of with what you did well. For a first song, this isn't that bad. I'm liking the violin 8th notes. Although, those harmonies can be fixed up a bit.

Now let's see what you can improve on. The melody feels lost beginning at 0:16. There is just too much going on that it's hard to keep track of the melody. You tried to have 2 melodies it seems, but it didn't work out too good. Have some sustained chords in there like a synth.

Good job and keep it up.