confess something/tell us a secret (SAD THREAD)

[Chopsticks]

Thank you for this Chopsticks but thinking about recovery just freaks me out/: but soon I'll try hopefully I'll be able to open up to someone irl
Also about your mom that's really sad . I hope she feels better
U too. I hope you'll be able to recover from your ED

And which forums do you visit? Because no one on mpa is like that.. by the way I really hate mpas name lol wish they change it
Luckily everyone there hates "pro-anas".. still a weird name

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O in case if you get confused when I mentioned mpa it was when you talked about people glorifying anorexia

 Spoiler

Btw, it was mpa. It was back in 2016 idk if it’s since changed, but all ik is I got into a kik group with people and they didn’t have any warning or anything, but they mean-spo’d me. I’m just too afraid to log back on tbh. 1. Cuz of the ppl who offer a “kind and supporting group” in kik, and 2. Tbh it triggers me to binge/purge to no end.

Tbh recovery from any illness is hard, but you’ve just gotta find what strength you have inside you to move forward (what ever little stregth that may be.) it’s going to be hard no doubt, but you can do it! I recovered once for 6 months but relaped around Christmas 2016. What you’ve got to make sure of is that you have support (whether they be people online, family members, etc.), because those are the people who will really help guide you in the right direction.

I know a friend I made on mpa who attempted to guide me in the right direction, yet would go and post about their recent binges and stuff. I know they were just trying to help, but it was rather hypocritical of them and it triggered me back into my habits.

Overall though, I know you can recover, you’ve just gotta stick with it. You can’t let minor (or even major) setbacks keep you from living the life you most definitely deserve to live. I know you can do it. Never give up hope no matter how slim that hope may seem to be.

Also, if you do decide to recover, I’d HIGHLY recommend getting off mpa and any other ED site(s). I know it seems like a great place to get recovery advice and whatnot, but for me at least, it was just too tempting to click on the old sub forums I used to go on, triggering me back into my old habits.

Whilst I only recovered for 6 months, this is largely to due to the fact that I started drinking alcohol excessively, and doing other things that aren’t good for me. When in my sober mind, I look back at all the wasted years (of what I can remember due to blackouts and such), and I extremely regret it. I don’t want anyone to grow up feeling the way that I do now.