Tbh recovery from any illness is hard, but you’ve just gotta find what strength you have inside you to move forward (what ever little stregth that may be.) it’s going to be hard no doubt, but you can do it! I recovered once for 6 months but relaped around Christmas 2016. What you’ve got to make sure of is that you have support (whether they be people online, family members, etc.), because those are the people who will really help guide you in the right direction.
I know a friend I made on mpa who attempted to guide me in the right direction, yet would go and post about their recent binges and stuff. I know they were just trying to help, but it was rather hypocritical of them and it triggered me back into my habits.
Overall though, I know you can recover, you’ve just gotta stick with it. You can’t let minor (or even major) setbacks keep you from living the life you most definitely deserve to live. I know you can do it. Never give up hope no matter how slim that hope may seem to be.
Also, if you do decide to recover, I’d HIGHLY recommend getting off mpa and any other ED site(s). I know it seems like a great place to get recovery advice and whatnot, but for me at least, it was just too tempting to click on the old sub forums I used to go on, triggering me back into my old habits.
Whilst I only recovered for 6 months, this is largely to due to the fact that I started drinking alcohol excessively, and doing other things that aren’t good for me. When in my sober mind, I look back at all the wasted years (of what I can remember due to blackouts and such), and I extremely regret it. I don’t want anyone to grow up feeling the way that I do now.